Coffee Shop Confessional

Four of Cups, I kid you not!

I had been meaning to shuffle my tarot cards for a while and pick one, to use as a lens to see the world through, but have found it very difficult to find any time to do so. In fact, at present if you’re going to hear me say anything it’s this: ‘I don’t know where time goes. It’s Monday and in a blink of an eye it’s Friday.’ I’m like a broken record! Today, however I was determined to select a card, and so it was only when I got to work and realised I still had my cards in my bag that I stealthily hid behind a book case, focused and pulled out the Four of Cups.
I’m not sure what I was expecting but I almost fell over in surprise. If any card was going to sum up my current predicament it’s this one.The card depicts a man sitting under a tree, contemplating, and outstretched towards him is a cup full of opportunity, except he can’t see it because he’s too deep in thought. At its best the card shows that once you come out of this meditation the opportunity will still be there, and at its worst you’re so stuck in your thoughts you’re missing out on the beauty, opportunities and love that’s in front of you.
The Four of the Cups may as well have leapt out of the deck and smacked me in the face!
I thought I was going to use the tarot lens to reflect on the world around me but this card completely pointed at me and I could not pretend otherwise. If there’s anything I feel right now, it’s frustration at not having any time to do anything I’d like. By this I mean time to spend on my writing or other projects. But it’s more than that. I’ve always been busy but  I don’t know how to make time when every second of mine is taken with a toddler, two teenagers, and work. And at my worst, it’s all I can think about. I don’t know how to create time. I’m so stuck! Yet there are opportunities in front of me. My masters gave me the ongoing opportunity to work with one of the most respected writers in the country and a friend of mine, another writer has been encouraging me to write, with him as my mentor, for years. Two writers and me in the middle sitting there with my eyes wide shut. I’m frustrated at not being able to do anything with this and I feel that this is the cup which is outstretched towards me while my mind is elsewhere. But it’s not just this, is it? The cup is also an indication I have so much beyond this, and to look to that.
My home is a place I feel safe, my family is healthy and I am grateful for every moment I spend in their company. If I don’t have enough time, it’s because I want to spend all my time with my brood…
I am grateful for the cup within my reach and I will open my eyes more to give thanks for its abundance.
But in the mean time, can someone please tell me how you make time when there isn’t any? Four of Cups, I’ve reflected ..and now I need action!
Perhaps the clue will be in the next card…

2 thoughts on “Four of Cups, I kid you not!

  1. I know how you feel !!!!
    and everyone has to find a different way of finding more time… what works for one doesn’t work for another ( like getting up earlier… but that wouldn’t work for me !!!! )

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