‘But you don’t have to go from one place to another’
(a boy living between two homes says to his mother, aged 11)
“Your Life should have began as a blank canvas.
Where your loved ones painted beautiful colours for you to grow in,
We should have taken care
The Colours faded and the canvas cracked
Its crevices filled with tears from your innocent eyes
Watching. Not understanding. Only feeling.
I’m sorry, my Love
The choices of my parents discoloured your canvas,
My horrors seeped into your painting
I have tried to keep you safe
Tried to recreate the existence of my Womb around your World,
I have failed.
But not completely. I love you so deeply
You are loved by two – Separated.
You will become more than anyone I know.
Darling, for you Life lives
It grows outside of the canvas
Its colours dance around you,
Merging, joining, singing…
I hear you
And even when eyes are filled with tears; when my heart aches
at the trials at the start of your innocent Life
I rejoice in the Beauty of your existence.
You are my boy,
The Life that tells me Love lives”.
The above poem was written in response to my son when I asked him if the divorce was easier for him to manage now that a few years had passed and he was settled into a routine with regular visits to his dad.